One thing I'm definitely guilty of is enjoying the security of routine.

I like to eat at specific times, work until a specified hour, watch the same shows. It's comforting, yet I realize that deviating from a routine can be quite rewarding. Trying new things can be intellectually and emotionally stimulating, it simply requires taking a leap.

The fear of having a secure routine disrupted is a waste of energy; I'm trying to learn to be more impulsive, but I must admit it's a daunting challenge. Fact is, I'm tremendously happy with my life: I'm blessed with an interesting career choice, a wonderful wife, and terrific kids. My routine fits me well, and isn't crippling or resulting in any feelings of unhappiness.

Watching Oprah with my wife the other evening opened my eyes to how values and culture vary so much across the world. The priorities of North Americans seem alot different than those of folk in other countries.

It made me feel good that I've tried to base life decisions on trying to be 'happy'. To that end, spending time with my wife and focusing on my children makes me happy, and I'm glad I'm not trapped by the 'dream' shoved down our throats by society.

We all have the tremendous power of making choices, I always pray for the wisdom to make the right choices for me.

In glorious digital color

Here's the piece colored. I learned a few tricks on the fly that will help me on my next one (I'm not terribly experienced with digital art).

My wrist hurts, but it was fun!

New assignment

Here's the rough sketch of a new piece I'm working on. I like fantasy art, and this piece should look great once colored digitally.

A couple quick thoughts

I'm always amused by the relative aspect of time; when busy, it seems as if the hours fly by, but when doing something unappealling, the seconds tick by agonizingly slow.

I had a dream last night where I was literally walking on air. My dream self 'knew' how to do it, was comfortable, and enjoyed walking a short height above the ground. Very strange.

If an artist falls in the forest, will anybody hear?

It's frustrating to realize that skill isn't the main component of success these days; marketing, on the other hand, is.

Talent is irrelevant unless one knows how to promote oneself. In my years working for others, rarely was the most qualified or hard-working person promoted or rewarded; it was the most visible folk who knew how to play the social game.

One thing I've decided recently is that it is essential I improve my skills at becoming noticed; this is the only way I'll be able to continue to survive as a freelance artist, and may help me in achieving my webcomic/publishing dream down the line.

Looking back, looking forward

It's been a hoot, looking through years of artwork jpegs in order to assemble samples for a new site (thanks for the help, babe!). Recently, I've questioned my abilities, wondering if illustration was in fact the direction I should continue to pursue. I tend to be very tough on my own work; out of the hundreds of jpegs I perused, only a couple dozen were good enough (in my eyes) to act as a showcase for my abilities.

On the flip side, I came across several pieces that I found strong and well crafted, a source of inspiration and motivation.

I realize that many assignments aren't great because my heart wasn't in them; it's a huge challenge to find work that is appealling or interesting for any creative person. That's why it probably makes sense to self-publish my own concepts, become my own boss.

One step at a time...

Heart vs mind

I've always found myself struggling between logic and emotion. Often I find myself over-analyzing things, leading to emotional outbursts (which are usually unwarranted).

It's interesting how the mind and heart are directly linked; being a complete human being requires a nice balance of the two, which is a definite challenge. Making decisions solely based on rational deliberation is a mistake; one must access one's spiritual side as well.

Again, it's a question of balance, as well as trust in one's very self.

Becoming a well rounded, emotionally stable, adjusted person is certainly alot of work!

The next step

After years of working for others, I have the itch to do my own thing.

Actually, I have been 'doing my own thing' for a few years now.

When my storyboard career imploded spectacularly a few years back, I felt the video game industry might be the answer. An unpleasant job at Ubisoft convinced me otherwise. I realized that I prefer to be self-directed, since being told what to do by folk who seem clueless is rather annoying. I've always had a solid work-ethic, and the lifestyle of working at home continues to appeal to me. Hey, I get to see my beautiful wife and kids all the time, one cannot place a price on that.

Freelance illustration is a precarious job choice; there's tremendous competition, and being noticed is incredibly difficult. I've been extremely fortunate to eke out a living with my pencil so far; the big question remains if I can continue to do so.

One day at a time....