Then and now.

One of the major differences between younger me and the current 'seasoned' version is attitude.

Back in the wonderful days of the swingin' 1990s (pre Ipad and worldwide economic meltdown), I possessed a fearlessness bordering on the ridiculous. I didn't think too much about repercussions of my decisions, I simply flung myself into situations with a cockiness that things would work out.

I'm not talking about daredevil thrills, just about my approach to life; for example, when the time came to find my first job, clutching my predominantly blank resume, I felt no trepidation that something would pop up. I circled ads, strutted into interviews, and eventually was rewarded with the thrill of my very first paycheque.

I honestly miss that supreme confidence (or was it naivety?); these days, I find myself constantly questioning decisions, trying to play things as safely as possible. It's entirely understandable, blessed with a wife and children, that my priorities have changed significantly. Having others rely on you may be intimidating, but a wonderful feeling nonetheless. I treasure the warm, fading memories of my carefree singlehood, but love my current life as parent and husband.

One common factor linking my two selves is this: hope. Younger me always felt that good times were on the horizon (or more accuartely, that bad times couldn't last forever), and I continue to feel the same. Despite getting older, feeling worn down and often ill on account of my genes, I never let go of precious hope.